In an energy clearing I often check for past vows the clients has made that may be holding them back now. Vows are declarations we make in our lives for our survival ,our perception of something, or when we experience something and decide. An example is "I don't want to be weak like my mother, I never want to look stupid like so an so..." A vow can also be something good like "I always want to help children. I'm going to give 10% of my income to charity." Ceremonies and rituals often also have vows, such as a wedding.
I recently went to my cousin's wedding which brought me back to the Catholic church I grew up in. I moved from Orange County California when I was 15, I'm now 40. When I entered the church with my fiance and baby, I heard the voices. They said "welcome home, we've been waiting for you for a long time." I smiled and told them it was good to be home. As the ceremony started my eyes watered. I saw scenes of my childhood, like getting my first communion. Then they showed me scenes of when I was in 6-7th grade at 6AM mass.
During that time my family lived about 10 minutes walking distance from the church. It was a really hard time for us. We were really poor, on government assistance. The voices would wake me up around 5:30AM and had me go to church. What 11 year old goes to 6AM mass out of her free will? I prayed a lot then for things to be better. I said I wanted to make enough money so I could support my family. I would take care of my mom. I didn't want us to move so much. I wanted to have a more stable life. I wanted to help other children. I also said I didn't want to ever get married.
At that time my mom was with my stepdad. I didn't like him. He had a wife and 5 kids in Vietnam. That was the year he sponsored them over to the US. My mom told him he had obligations to fulfill and had to go back to his family. I overheard a lot of things they didn't think I did.
These vows set the stage of my life in so many ways that I didn't know until now. It is the root of many of my beliefs, challenges, patterns, and sabotages.
Then the tears really poured at the ceremony. I felt fine, just water gushing out of my eyes and I couldn't stop them! I walked outside to clear myself. at the front of the church was a statue of Jesus with his hands out. On the ground were these glass pillars of candles, the ones you see in Mexico with baby Jesus and Mary of Guadalupe...you've seen them! Kinda tacky but at the same time so great! =)
I laughed at that moment because of God's mercy and grace. Just 2 days prior I was at a grocery store in Denver picking up just a few things. I passed this display of candles which had the same candles! They were on sale for $1.49 and something told me to buy them. I bought like 30 of them! Didn't know why, just had to...
I told him Jesus he was funny and thanked him for all he had done for me. I asked the vows that aren't serving me anymore be removed across all TIME, DIMENSIONS, SPACE, AND REALITIES now. If you do not remove them across all time, dimensions, space and realities, it could hold you back in other lives. Ten minutes probably passed, I'm not really sure, until the tears died up. I had to let the tears flow because that was my "unshed tears."
I've been reflecting on this for a little over a week now. As we enter this month of transformation with all these planets in retrograde and two eclipses, I'm very light and I flow with so much peace, love, appreciation, wisdom and clarity. Every obstacle is seriously a universal love gift for you to clear your shit, you just have to shift and pivot. Don't run from the pain, run towards it.
Is there an area in your life that keeps repeating itself and you don't know why? It maybe a vow that you made. Ask for courage and compassion to see it, understand it. When you find the core memory, ask to have it removed so you can step into you light. Thank it for the wisdom it gave you but you don't need it anymore. Then state what you want now. State that you are willing to see things in another way. Just surrender to it. It will let go of you then.
Sending you all my love,
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